Please submit your metaphor poems here. I would love to see you commenting on each others work. The best of the best will be forwarded to Ms Howard for publication. Also, please do NOT leave your email addresses on this site; there's no need. All I want is your first name and first initial of surname. Thanks to those who have posted. Also, please be extra careful with your punctuation...we are an English blog after all...ha ha.
 


Comments

Jack Merriman
16/10/2012 8:58pm

The hurricane is a raging bull
Charging through cities and destroying all in it's path
Locking it's horns with vehicles as they fall
Craziness as it sees red in the mist

Mr. Finucane
17/10/2012 2:47am

Excellent Jack.....love line 3 (except for the extraneous apostrophe..ha ha)

andrew k
16/10/2012 11:18pm

A Metaphor Poem about the moon

The moon is a huge silver ball hurled by a sky queen into the night sky, Spraying glitter with it.

The moon is a disco ball for god and his friends

The moon is a ball of light dropped by alien’s flying saucer leaving behind a puff of smoke and a oil leak

The moon is a clock telling the time to humans and aliens

The moon is a wrecked death star ripped up by the rebel alliance.

Mr. Finucane
17/10/2012 2:49am

The moon is a wrecked death star ripped up by the rebel alliance....LOVE IT! Maybe work on the 'ripped up' part? Can you find ONE word, a synonym of destroyed. (Hint: use thesaurus)

Liam M.
17/10/2012 12:09am

Fire
Fire is the upredictable oceans.
Fire shimmers and laps gently on candlesticks.
Fire spreads,throwing tidal waves of intense heat,
Drowning and destroying life in it's path.

But it is fire that is the reservoir of life,
Bringing joy and beauty to the world.

Mr Finucane
17/10/2012 2:50am

Outstanding work Liam. Excellent extended metaphor here....now, can you create an image/photo/artwork to go with this. If you can, I see it being published. Congratulations.

Liam M.
18/10/2012 12:31am

I spelled unpredictable wrong. Sorry!

Liam M.
17/10/2012 12:28am

Hate and Anger
Hate and anger are fires burning dark,
Casting gloomy shadows on our souls.
Consuming us in red-hot power,
it suffocates happiness and joy,
scorching us into embittered beings .

Control this sinister fire,
Before it burns to dark.

Mr Finucane
17/10/2012 2:51am

Another excellent metaphor poem. Keep 'em coming folks. Well done Liam!

Kim o'hare
17/10/2012 12:40am

Fire is a firework
Red and warm
Cosy and relaxing
It's bright dancing lights
When it goes out
The room goes dark

Mr Finucane
17/10/2012 2:55am

Well done Kim...I really like this one.
Maybe edit line 4 to 'it is a dancing light'? I love the contrast with the darkness in the room when it goes out. Can you think of a better word for 'goes out'? Find a synonym for dies? (Hint: use thesaurus)
I like the originality of your fire being cosy...like it glows. Great work.

zach.L
17/10/2012 1:42am

Fire is a ferocious lion.
Fire in unpredictable when let out of its cage.
Fire reacts when poked and prodded.
The fires bright red and orange mane blows with the wind

Mr Finucane
17/10/2012 2:57am

Good man Zach, I really like this one too. The standard is getting very good indeed. You may need an apostrophe in the last line!
I think the connection between fire and a ferocious lion is very clever indeed, well done.

Eline
17/10/2012 2:54am

this is the poem i wrote

It warms us up on cold winter days
Entangles us with its many arms
From the outside in to the inside out
We sit close to one another afraid to lose it all
The snow still stuck to our boots is slowly melting
The noise it makes is very soothing
We give it some more wood to burn
After some time its slowly dying
We know its time to say goodbye
But were not grieving no sadness here
Because tomorrow we just start the fire again

Mr Finucane
17/10/2012 3:02am

Stunning Eline, just stunning. I can tell you now that I will be giving this to Ms. Howard, with your permission?
Thank you for sharing. I'd love to see others' interpretations of this wonderful poem.

Eline
17/10/2012 3:02am

If wishes were horses, beggars would ride.
A dark horse makes your wishes turn into the night
It calls people wishing wells and horses man kind
That's a horse of a different color.
It leads us with pride

Mr Finucane
17/10/2012 3:07am

Thanks Eline,
The first line reminds me of an old proverb my Granny used to say;

If wishes were horses
Beggars would ride:
If turnips were watches
I would wear one by my side

17/10/2012 4:00pm

fire is a dangerous weapon it can protect you but injure you if your are not careful
fire is a friend warming us and bringing us together
fire is a swiss army knife it can be used in many ways and is a resoursful tool

Liam M.
17/10/2012 9:35pm

The Future
The future is the cat of time,
Nimbly keeping ahead
Of the past and the present.
Her moves are unpredictable,
For she hides in the shadows influencing us.

Treat her well and she will reward you with a fate like no other.

Liam M.
17/10/2012 9:48pm

Rain
The rain is God's orchestra,
Pittering and pattering off walls and windows
With the wind whipping around.
The fluency of the violins being the streams created by a flood,
And car horns beep noisily at a flooded road.
Children yelp being disrupted from their play
Rush inside to the warth of their parent's arms.
The sounds come together to ceate a symphony,
The most natural sound in the world.

Liam M.
23/10/2012 7:43pm

The rain is God's orchestra,
A cacophonous pitter-patter drumming on windows.
A whipping wind howls.
The fluency of violins is a streaming flood.
Children rush inside to the symphony of parents’ arms.

Liam M.
17/10/2012 9:56pm

The Past
The past is made of carvings,
Carved in to time.
Where to find these the carvings I do not know,
But I know I have cared some of them,
So I ask you; Where are your's?

Heather M
17/10/2012 11:49pm

Fire
The fire is a raging tiger.
It roars out from the heart.
Its violent claws grasp for air
and white-hot teeth biting through

The Sun
The sun is the eyes of the universe.
It looks down over the earth and stars.
It stares into space with its giant yellow pupils
and black hole centre.
It burns bright and lights up the darkness

Connor M.
18/10/2012 2:23am

A unicorn glistens in the moonlight
It's fur camoflaging with the snow
It glides with the dazziling stars
It's horn sharp till night while it shimmers with the sun
It dances with rambows.

Connor M.
18/10/2012 2:34am

Rain shines with the sun
It falls with passion
It evapourates with dispare
It laughs with the shimmering starlight
It screems in terror as it pounces across the pashonate raimbow
It indolges the power of the night.

Jack Merriman
18/10/2012 2:35am

THE UNICORN

The unicorn is a rainbow
Spreading colours as it streams across the land
The unicorn is a shooting star
Granting wishes as it zooms through the night
The unicorn is a swan
Soaring elegantly through the air
The unicorn is a mirage
Disappearing when you think you have found it

Josh D
18/10/2012 3:27pm

Metaphor poem about time

Time is a chest
A holder of secrets
A release of discovery
Time is a spinning wheel
It can stop at any time
When it does
We do too
Then it can forever hold our secrets




Sorry if it's not very good not too sure what to do =D

andrew k
18/10/2012 9:19pm

A Metaphor Poem about the moon

The moon is a huge silver ball hurled by a sky queen into the night sky. Spraying glitter with it

The moon is a disco ball for god and his friends

The moon is a ball of light dropped by alien's saucer leaving behind a puff of smoke and a oil leak

The moon is a clock telling the time to humans and aliens

The moon is a wrecked death star devoured by the rebel alliance.

David.S
22/10/2012 10:37pm

The future is a long, dark cave
It's contents are a mystery
Good or bad, we can only guess
Only by exploring it can we be sure
Nobody can see where it ends

Sophie
22/10/2012 10:51pm

The rain is the tears of God crying for those lost
The rain is fire burning down onto your skin
The rain is pelats being shot down by angels
The rain is the broken hearts never to mend
The rain is shards of glass cutting through your dreams
The rain is memorys falling behind your feet
The rain is the words burning through your heart
The rain is the mistakes that you cannot undo

1S class
23/10/2012 7:48pm

The rain is…

tears from God crying for those lost.
fire burning down onto skin
pellets being fired by angels
a broken heart never to mend
shards of glass cutting through dreams
a memory falling behind your feet
words burning through your heart
mistakes that you cannot undo

Sophie
22/10/2012 11:01pm

A butterfly is the dreams that tell us to move forward
A butterfly is the colours of tommorow
A butterfly is the memorys that bring a smile to your face
A butterfly is the beauty that you must see in yourself
A butterfly is the joy that is everlasting
A butterfly is the hope we hold onto no matter what

Sophie
22/10/2012 11:21pm

The ballerina was an angel soaring above everyone else, sparkling, glowing brighter than any other, eye catching beauty beyond any words, obvious to our eyes can only be from the heavens above

Sophie
22/10/2012 11:26pm

The ballerina is a silent ghosts, haunting in your mind, creeping in your dreams, and dancing by your eyes
The ballerina is a star, shining up the sky
The ballerina is an elegant swan floating by your hearts, holding them in her wings and letting them slowly drop through her winter white feathers
The ballerina is an angel soaring up to the heavens above

Donal
23/10/2012 10:16pm

Metaphor poem
Mr Finucane is a lion
Nice and happy until you annoy him
Then he will strike with his sharp claws
He will rip you to pieces with his ferocious teeth
Whoever annoy's him is going to die
Seriously he'll make you cry

Donal
23/10/2012 10:20pm

Metaphor poem
The piranah is a hurricane
it is vicous and ferocious
small or big its still deadly
destroying anything in its path
gobbling things up,quick and sly
whatevers infront of it its going to die

Anna von.C
24/10/2012 12:54am

Fire
Fire is a lynx jumping its way from tree to tree,
faster than a bird in flight,melting the snow and feeding on trees
devouring everything in its way, nothing can stop the raging hot claws, but suddenly a river stands in its way
he roars and roars but his strength is fading slowly dying away.

Anna von.C
24/10/2012 12:59am

The sun
Sun is flying in the sky lifting its great wings, casting shadows underneath it ,her cries can be heard in space
her flaming tail trailing behind,
the phoenix is a guardian but also a destroyer,
walls of flame shoot out onto forests and deserts
in her unstoppable anger.

luke r
24/10/2012 8:14pm

fire is a devil it glows in diffent types of colours.he goes up and down in the dark windy night. he sparkles every now and again

now he is more angry now than ever the sound of him makes the temputures rise.

he is now carm as a starting fire as he starts again in the woods


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